The Mockery Draft - Coming in April!

We are back and we feel a draft! The Pro Football Mockery Draft will begin on April 1st! Get your dancing shoes ready!

Tom Brady Needs Your Help!

Ya Tom, I saw it with this guy...

18-1

Karma's a BITCH, cheaters.

Patriots' New Logo

Belicheck chose the wrong career. With his penchant for videotaping sweaty beefed up men in shorts on the practice field, looks like he would have found better success as a gay porn producer.

News is coming out that the Patriots taped the Greatest Show on Turf's practice sessions before their first superbowl victory. The Dynasty is collapsing.

In celebration of their efforts, we believe its time for a new logo.

University of Phoenix Stadium Play Clock Prepares for Superbowl

With Brandon "The Play Clock Killer" Jacobs rolling into town on Super Sunday, the University of Phoenix Stadium Play Clock is not taking any chances. Word out of Arizona is that Play Clock is preparing night and day to face the monstrous Jacobs.

Earlier this month, one of Clock's colleagues Dallas Stadium Play Clock suffered serious injury when it was brutally attacked by Jacobs without provocation. Dallas Play Clock almost did not survive the encounter.

Stadium workers say that UPSPC has been working hard to avoid a similar fate. However, Clock has been secretive as how it hopes to stop the Giants halfback. When reached for comment, Phoenix Play Clock responded only with an enigmatic "Tick Tick".

Hitler's "Mein Fußballmannschaft": The Dallas Cowboys

Wooboy.. You don't want to get in the way of an evil, genocidal, fascist dictator when his team loses in an upset..



-Courtesy of spudsharkslive on Youtube

Silence of the Lambs

Richard Seymour might want to be a bit careful with who he headbutts or he might end up a little light in the cup.. You see, Giants OL Grey Reugamer has experience biting off balls. I suppose its a good skill to have. You never know when you might be a testicle detachment away from life or death.

Reugamer worked as a part time lamb ball-biter for a period of time in Nevada.

"I was hesitant," Ruegamer said with a laugh. "But it is what it is. She needed help. There was beer. Good times. It was worth it."

As for the procedure itself, "you pull them out with your teeth, spit them in a bucket, next one.

"There was other work that had to get done, so we had to hurry with that and move onto the next thing. It's just a little lamb. It's not a big animal. I have pictures.

"The blood on your mustache is the worst part."

I bet it is Grey, I bet it is..

ProFootballMockery has found a brief clip of one such encounter between poor innocent lamb and Reugamer. We have spared you the gruesome conclusion.

CLICK IMAGE for VIDEO

The Almighty Neckbeard Pro Bowl Bound!

Brett Favre backed out of the upcoming Pro Bowl citing an ankle injury. In a possibly related note, there has been a spike in hospital visits in the Honolulu area for spam gorging related injuries. It seems the Hawaiians have taken this news hard and have begun to drown their sorrows with the wonders of processed pig testicle meats. They have really begun to get an inferiority complex of late since almost every high-profile pro bowl player does not seem to want to visit their affable homeland, citing previously non-existing injuries as the reason for their absence.

However, they will not have to be distraught for long. After 15 other NFC QBs refused the NFL's request to partake in the Pro Bowl, the immaculate Kyle Orton will grace the Big Island with his presence. Hawaiians everywhere rejoice.

Editor's Note: Orton will not actually be playing in the Pro Bowl. He will be drowning in a Hunch Punch Bowl at a local Luau.

The Resurrection

The MOCKERY is back.. But its not like anyone missed it since I doubt anyone knew it existed the first time around.. Its been almost 2 years, and as you can tell by visiting the old blog, I didnt have much progress with it. But this time, Im committed, like a college coach takin an NFL Head Coaching gig. Rock solid commitment.

I plan to pretty this site up a bit and eventually move it to its own domain at www.profootballmockery.com, but I figured I'd better put this up before the Tom Brady Slurperbowl.

I will be putting together a "Year in Review" vid together shortly to catch up on what the mockery missed out on this season.

In anticipation of the Brady Slurperbowl, I have a little gift for all of our New England fans.. Some fapping material courtesy of Pro Football Mockery. Enjoy!